At a festival in Burleson County Texas called Chilifest, a teen girl was forced to play a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors in order to avoid a citation for underage drinking.  As a huge crowd looked on they erupted as she beat the officer in the game.

Now of course everyone is up in arms saying that making someone win a game in order to avoid arrest is obviously cruel and inappropriate.  The Precinct Constable said he does not endorse the activity and that the officer in question will not work the festival in the future.

I think everyone is missing something here.  Is it possible that he was watching to see her hand eye coordination to assess if she had been drinking or not?  Even if he wasn’t maybe this officer has stumbled upon the next big thing in law enforcement.  With jails and prisons greatly over populated and our court system backed up with so many cases maybe Rock-Paper-Scissors is the answer.

Just think about it.  Imagine that a person has been pulled over for speeding.  The officer could just give him a ticket for $100 and start the process of all the paperwork and possible appearances in court for this ticket, or they could play Rock-Paper-Scissors.  Right there on the spot.  But now the stakes are a little higher for the offender.  If the offender wins then they get no ticket and they are free to go.  If the offender loses then they have to pay $500 with no court option or any other way out.  Sounds good doesn’t it?  Now the odds of winning at Rock-Paper-Scissors is 50/50.  That means for every ten stops an officer would make the fines would only amount to $1,000 using the old system.  With the new system it would be $2,500 and no court dates or expenses for trials and all that paperwork.

Now let’s take it a step further.  The offender has now committed a crime that would normally call for a one year prison sentence.  Break out the Rock-Paper-Scissors and play the game.  The offender wins and he walks free, if he loses he now goes to jail for five years.  No trials and no paper work and best of all no LAWYERS.  And instead of 10 people in jail you only have five and you’ve cut down on the prison population and saved tax payers a lot of money.

Now doesn’t this sound like a great plan?  There is, however, one caveat.  All of the games must be videoed because, well you know, it’s the cops.

 

Those Pesky Facts. 🙂